October 2018 Newsletter

Couples Corner

Some couples make being a couple look so natural and easy. However, being a happy couple does not just happen, according to Maud Purcell, LCSW, CEAP and author of "10 Secrets of Happy Couples."  Even these couples do not know all the "musts" of a happy relationship and this is why they are called "secrets" instead. Among these secrets is being realistic that relationships have ups and downs. Another is that couples need to spend time apart, rather than being together all the time. 

To read more of the article, click here

Individual Corner

Anger is often thought of as a bad thing. In reality, anger is a normal human emotion that we all experience from time to time. It is the manner in which we deal with anger that can cause us problems. In "Strategies for Controlling Your Anger," from the American Psychological Association, one of the strategies suggested is realizing what triggers your anger and trying to avoid the trigger if possible. Another strategy is to pay attention to early warning signs that you are beginning to become annoyed. In these ways, you can thwart the anger before it grows into an inappropriate rage.

To read more, click here.

Family Corner

Even the best of parents can have different ideas of how to parent. In "10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Partner," Laurel Niedosipial states that "under no circumstances" should one parent say these things to the other parent. Most of these statements would cause the co-parent to feel inadequate rather than being helpful. One example is, "You weren't watching them closely enough."
Such  an accusatory statement would only end up with a defensive co-parent, and probably an argument!

To read the full article, click here

Infertility Corner

While you are on your family-building journey, you will likely need time and space to sort out the myriad of feelings that come with infertility. Keeping a journal is an excellent way to process your thoughts and feelings by getting them out of your head and onto paper where those thoughts and feelings can be reflected back to you through your eyes. I encourage you to keep a journal, or at least to write out your thoughts and feelings even if you shred the document immediately after writing it. Research supports the healing power of getting the thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto paper. If you prefer to type rather than handwriting your thoughts and feelings, that is preferable to just letting them stay in your head. 
You may even find it helpful to post your journal online to share with others, better known as blogging. Rachel Gurevich on Verywell Familyshares some thoughts on "How Blogging Can Help You Cope With Infertility."

To read more, click here.

For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.

Happy October!
I hope you are enjoying the fall weather. I also hope you enjoy this month's articles. If you start a blog or are already blogging your trying to conceive story, then you might consider entering RESOLVE's Hope Award for Social Influence contest during National Infertility Awareness Week in April 2019. 

Announcement:  I am pleased to announce that I have completed Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and that I use Gottman Method Couples Therapy in my therapy work. The Gottman Institute provides a research-based approach to relationships and has an excellent blog
For more information about how Gottman Method Couples Therapy may help you and your loved one, give me a call today.

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out here.

Is there a topic you would like featured in an upcoming newsletter? If so, please contact us and let us know. As always, you can call us for assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC

Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
Donna's Corner

Last month was Suicide Prevention/Awareness month. This is a topic very personal to me. You see, my son lost his long battle with depression and anxiety this past June. I have gone through so many emotions since he took his life. Even as a therapist, I needed the love and support of family and friends.  I also found myself needing more. I searched out for others who have lost a child to suicide.  I attend a support group of moms who have lost a child to suicide also.
If you have lost anyone, to suicide or not, it is imperative that you seek support. This support can be through family, friends, coworkers, or others who have been through a similar situation. While no one can know exactly  how you feel, someone who has also been where you are can aid in your recovery.
Support groups can help you know what to expect and help you feel normal in your own feelings. Group members will understand that you might start crying and not even be aware of why. They can tell you how they handled something you are going through now.
So, remember, you do not have to deal with grief on your own. Reach out and find support in your home, your family, or your community.

Hello everyone! I am so happy to be part of ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 7:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 7:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible sch!edule.
Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.
Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at the Springfield, Jacksonville, and Beardstown locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.

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