Each relationship has problems. Margarita Tartakovsky, MS, associate editor of PsychCentral, reviews Randi Gunther, PhD's new book, entitled When Love Stumbles: How to Rediscover Love, Trust and Fulfillment in Your Relationship. In this book, Gunther shares a six-step healing plan for these stumbles. First, she identifies the eight most common problems and then steps to help remedy them.
1. From fulfillment to disillusionment. 2. From excitement to boredom 3. From constructive challenges to destructive conflicts 4. From sacrificing for your partner to self-preservation 5. From being a team to operating solo 6. From feeling unconditionally loved to being on trial 7. From focusing on the relationship to pursuing outside interests 8. From common goals to different dreams Her solutions to these problems are: 1. Go back to the beginning of your relationship. Remember when you first fell in love and share these memories with your partner. 2. Evaluate your current relationship. Talk to each other honestly about your feelings about the state of your relationship, both the positive and negative aspects. 3. When did you begin to drift? You will learn how recalling smaller incidents that were not resolved will help you heal and prevent new stumbles. 4. What prevented your recovery at the time this stumble occurred? Paying attention to what made you ignore them before may help you identify them now. 5. What do you need from each other to reawaken your love? Talk to each other about your needs.
6. What will you do differently to safeguard your relationship if it stumbles in the future? Gunther suggests making relationship vows by using your new knowledge.
As busy individuals, we often tend to put our mental health on the back burner. This can, and most times does, lead to burn-out. In US News, health contributor Laura Hemil discusses these five signs that it is time to take a mental break in her article, "When to Take a Mental Health Break."
1. Difficulty focusing. Two of the ways she gives to help this is to limit distractions and not to be afraid to ask for help when needed. 2. Your relationships are suffering. If you are missing too many family events, take a break and give yourself a chance to catch up. Also, be present, stick to your commitments, and be accountable. 3.You're showing physical signs of being under stress. Stress can hurt your body. It can lead to cardiovascular problems. She says to start by acknowledging the cause of the stress and make a plan of how you will handle it. 4. Your self-care no longer exists. Caretakers are especially at risk. If you find yourself skipping lunch or doctor's appointments, then you are not taking care of yourself. Practice putting yourself first, maybe by taking time to meditate or booking workout sessions ahead of time. 5.You're running on empty. Lack of sleep and poor nutrition are two of the most obvious signs of burn-out. Take the time to refresh and recharge, by taking a walk, getting a good night's sleep, and strengthening your mind and body.
To read the full article and learn more about anger, click here.
Family Corner
Do you post about your children on social media? The folks at Jellies offer these five reasons you might want to rethink what you post, or if you post at all:
1. Posting on Social Media Can Invade Your Child's Privacy 2. Your Social Media Posts Might Be Used for Bullying 3. Social Media Messaging Could Impact Your Child's Future 4. Sharing Puts Your Child at Risk for Digital Kidnapping 5. Your Social Media Posts Might Attract Dangerous People
Mother's Day can be emotionally painful when you are having difficulty conceiving.
FertiCALM is a fertility emotions app for women created by leading infertility psychologists Dr. Alice Domar and Dr. Elizabeth Grill. The app covers 12 broad categories, such as baby functions, work, social events, fertility treatment, and sex. Each category is divided into infertility-specific life situations. Six different suggestions/solutions to use are given for each life situation, such as cognitive, behavioral, and relaxation skills. To learn more about FertiCALM, click here.
Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.
Happy May
May brings May Day, Mother's Day, Armed Forces Day, and Memorial Day. I hope any of these days or other days you celebrate are full of happy moments. I hope that your life is full of blooming May flowers that were brought on by April showers. If you are having a tough time this May, I hope that you have the love and support of family and friends.
If you need assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.
Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out here.
Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.
Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.
Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
Donna's Corner
May tends to be a busy month for many. Weddings, end of school events, graduations, proms and Mother's Day all happen in May. In all this busyness, it's easy to become overwhelmed. Remember, even in the midst of all this, it is important to continue your self-care. Take time out for yourself: exercise, get plenty of rest and eat healthy. It is a fun time, and we want to be well enough to take part and enjoy ourselves.
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible schedule.
Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well. Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.
Donna is accepting new clients at the Springfield, Jacksonville, and Beardstown locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
