March 2019 Newsletter

Couples Corner

Not all relationships are healthy. According to an article by the staff of HealthPrep, there are five signs of a healthy relationship. The first is that both are equals. This involves compromising and responding to each other's input.
Next, is that each have mutual respect. This means appreciating each other's values and choices. Respect is a vital part of a loving relationship.
     Thirdly, is having open and honest communication. This is the fuel that drives the relationship. Many a relationship has failed when communication is lacking.
 Fourth, each should be supportive of the other's goals. Dreams for the future need to be shared and appreciated by both. Day to day goals should also be discussed and respected.
     The last sign of a healthy relationship is the couple is responsible and accountable. They come through for each other. They can expect support from each other.

    To read the full article, click here.

Individual Corner

We all have had to deal with acceptance. Some things are easier for us to accept than others. When it is something we don't want to accept, acceptance becomes a difficult task. In "How to Accept What We Really Don't Want to Accept" from a Psychology Today blog, the myths and misconceptions about acceptance are first addressed.
      We tend to think that when we accept something, we are okay with it. In reality, we don't have to be okay with what we're accepting. Acceptance doesn't mean we have to agree with it. We might still feel uncomfortable with whatever it is.
     Acceptance does not mean we have given up on changing the situation. It is about now, not the future. It is agreeing to start our efforts from where we are now and considering what actually is.
     Acceptance does not mean failure. In our society, we see acceptance as something that happens when we give up. In actuality, it can be the beginning of success.
     The author of the article, Nancy Collier, LCSW, Rev., says she prefers to use the word relax rather than accept because there are so many misconceptions with accept. So, instead of "Can I accept this," think, "Can I relax with this?" Relaxing with it also means allowing the not wanting to do it in and keeping resistance as it protects us.
     Secondly, relaxing with it means that we are looking at reality rather than how we feel about a situation. It is simply what it is. It is happening.

To read the full article and learn more about acceptance, click here

Family Corner

Around 70% of all kids quit organized sports by age 13. It’s time to start a serious dialogue to reverse this trend. Julianna W. Miner, a Public Health educator writing for the Washington Post, offers several reasons for this, including the fact that it’s just not fun anymore. She says it is not fun because it is no longer designed to be fun. Instead, there is an overemphasis on competitiveness, achievement, and success that lead kids to believe if they are not the best, than they just will not play at all. Ms. Miner argues that we should give kids a way to stay in sports by shifting the emphasis back to where it belongs – healthy, happy, active kids.

To read more, click here.

Infertility Corner

When facing infertility, the question “Do you have kids?” can be toxic, leading to apprehension. How much do you want to disclose about your infertility when a new acquaintance asks this question? Connie Shapiro, PhD offers some possible responses, ranging from a simple factual “No” to a detailed emotional response. Dr. Shapiro also offers possible responses if your infertility story includes pregnancy loss or adoption. Your responses may vary over time as you continue your infertility journey.

To read the full article, click here.

For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an
appointment at 217-972-4851 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.

Happy March

March brings Ash Wednesday, Daylight Saving Time, St. Patrick's Day, and the beginning of Spring. I have heard many people say they are ready for spring after the winter we have had. For these folks, spring can bring an end to their seasonal affective disorder, commonly known as the "winter blues." For some people, though, spring has the opposite effect - leading to a condition known as "reverse seasonal affective disorder" in which spring brings with it symptoms of depression. If you suffer from reverse seasonal affective disorder, you are not alone and help is just a phone call away.

If you need assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out

Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.

Donna Givens, RN, LCPC

Donna's Corner

March, the month Spring begins! It might not feel like it, but it is coming! It has been a long winter, and cabin fever is at its peak!  Spring is the time of change, of growth, and of possibilities. Many people do Spring cleaning. If you do, why not also purge bad habits and behaviors along with the unused clothing and knickknacks? What better time to start making changes!

Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible schedule.

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.
Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at the Springfield, Jacksonville, and Beardstown locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.

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