March 2018 Newsletter

Couples Corner

Disagreements will always be a part of all relationships, but if you approach disagreements in the right way, both you and your partner can come out as winners. The article "How To Fight So You Both Win" says that you should come into a disagreement well prepared and with a plan. Here are a few of the ideas the article suggests to help you and your partner address disagreements.

1. Zip it - It is important for your partner to feel heard and you should avoid interrupting him or her with your response until you have given him or her the opportunity to be heard.
2. "I feel _____ when _____ because _____" - It is important to own your own feelings and point of view. One way to do this is with I statements; for example, "I feel angry when you are late for dinner because it is important to me that you are on time."
3. Take a time out - It is okay to ask your spouse for a time out if things get too heated. It is also important to set a time to resume because if you don't set a time you may never get back to discussing the issue at hand.
To read the rest of the suggestions click here.

Family Corner

If you're a parent, it is likely that you have heard the phrase "I'm bored" a time or two. Children today are used to having their day scheduled and having their attention constantly attended to. Parents are often looked upon to solve their children's boredom rather than the children figuring out what to do with their time. Changes in technology have also impacted the way in which children experience boredom because kids are taught that they should be constantly engaged.

The good news is that it is okay to let your child be bored! The article "Can I Let My Child Be Bored?" discusses boredom and the idea that learning to conquer boredom through self-engagement is a useful skill. To read the article click here.

Individual Corner

Anyone who has a job knows that a job is sometimes a source of stress and worry, but did you know that you can use your imagination to create positive feelings about work?

When you imagine future scenarios in your brain, you are able to predict how you might think, feel and act if those situations were to happen in reality and by doing so, you begin experiencing the same feelings and thoughts that you would experience if the situation was real.

According to the article "How to Feel Good at Work" research has found that imagining the positive things that could happen in your life can lead to a greater level of happiness. The article goes on to give three strategies that you can use at work to increase your positive feelings.

One way to begin using imagination to increase happiness is to start your day by imagining your best possible day. To read the details of this strategy and to find out the other strategies click here.

Infertility Corner

Many, if not all, people experiencing infertility also experience stress. Stress is what we feel when we view an event as threatening, triggering the body’s fight or flight response. While it is not clear how stress affects infertility, we do know that reducing stress can improve one’s quality of life during this challenging time and aid in decision-making.

People respond to stress in different ways. Some may aggressively pursue treatment while others may withdraw from family and friends. Neither extreme is helpful. Try these other coping methods recommended for infertility instead:

  • Acupuncture
  • Collaboration with experts in stress reduction
  • Journaling
  • Meditation
  • Mindfulness
  • Progressive muscle relaxation
  • Psychotherapy and cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Self-help books
  • Walking/hiking
  • Yoga

    To read the full ASRM article, click here.

    For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851

    Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.

Happy March!
Spring leads me to think of renewal. How will you renew your relationship this spring? One way to renew your relationship is to be intentional about loving your partner on a daily basis. Just as the gardens we plant in the spring need intentional loving care to bloom and allow us a good harvest, we need to tend to our relationships in order to reap the full benefits. The best way to have a good partner is to be a good partner.

Is there a topic you would like featured in an upcoming newsletter? If so, please contact us and let us know. As always, you can call us for assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC

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