June 2019 Newsletter

Couples Corner

7 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Relationship

Brittany Wong of Huff Post says affair-proofing your relationship takes work, but it’s worth it. Yes, your partner, you, and your relationship are all worth it. Number one on the list is the most important because if you take that to heart, then you will gladly do the rest. 

1. Don't think you're immune to an affair.
2. Recognize and tend to the needs of your relationship.
3. Define what monogamy means to you.
4. Close the door on old flames.
5. Make time for sex.
6. Don't confide in someone other than your spouse (especially an attractive someone).
7. Actively show how much your partner means to you.

  To learn more, click here.

Individual Corner

June is a time of transition. We transition from Spring to Summer. There are graduations and weddings. Even when transitions are positive, they can cause us some negative feelings. Psychotherapist and author Richard B. Joelson, DSW talks about this in his article, "Managing Difficult Life Transitions." He states we have to "let go of familiarity and face the future with a feeling of vulnerability."
Some life changes are planned, such as weddings or graduations, but others are sudden and often unwanted, such as divorce or death.  Since we are facing losses with transitions, we experience anxiety.

Joelson lists seven stages of moving through a life transtion:
1. Experiencing a range of negative feelings
2. Loss of self-esteem
3. Begin to accept the change
4. Acknowledge that you need to let go of the past and accept the future
5. Begin to feel hopeful about the future
6. Feel increased self-esteem, and
7. Develop an optimistic view of the future.

We all deal with things differently and do not have to go through these stages in order. We may also return to previous stages. Joelson also lists some coping strategies, such as accepting that change is part of life, learning to identify and express your feelings, and expecting to feel uncomfortable. 

To read the full article and learn more about about coping with transition, click here.

Family Corner

With the summer comes children coming home from college, and with them coming home comes adjustments. In a New York Times article, psychologist Lisa Damour reminds us that while away at college, our young adults will probably change. Some changes might be good, such as being more willing to help around the house. Others might be difficult to accept, such as vaping and alcohol usage.

When our children are gone for extended periods, we usually miss them and want to spend time with them when they return. However, that might not be their first priority. They may not have seen some friends for that time period and may have missed favorite places as well. We have to understand that they will want to spend time with friends, and this does not mean they love us less.

It is important we discuss our expectations with our college students when they first return, such as to text if they will be late, or if we expect them to get a summer job. It is also important that members  of the family show respect to each other. Differences in routine will have to be worked out.

To read more, click here

Infertility Corner

June brings the celebration of Father's Day, which can be difficult for men struggling to conceive with their partners. An online research survey showed that 80% of men feel their emotional experience is overlooked when a couple faces infertility. To help meet the needs of men, leading infertility psychologists Dr. Alice Domar and Dr. Elizabeth Grill, enlisted the help of fellow infertility psychologists Dr. Janet Takefman and Dr. William  Petok to create FertiSTRONG – a fertility app specifically for men. FertiSTRONG serves as a companion to the FertiCALM app for women. Both apps cover 12 categories such as emotions, sex, pregnancy loss, fertility treatment, and social situations. Within each category, six sample tools are provided for areas such as cognitive, behavioral, and relaxation. To read more about the men's survey, click here.

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.

Happy June!

June brings graduations, weddings, the beginning of summer, vacations, amusement parks, BBQs, swimming, hiking, and a multitude of outdoor activities. June also brings the anniversary D-Day, Flag Day, and Father's Day. I hope any of these days or other days you celebrate are full of happy moments.  

If you are having difficulty enjoying your summer, or if you need assitance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out

Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.

Donna Givens, RN, LCPC

Donna's Corner

June brings Summer and for many, vacation. If you are driving  with small children, remember to take plenty of breaks and bring toys! It might help to keep some toys put away to hand out at different points in the trip. This will keep the child from becoming bored as easily. It also helps to have movies they can watch. Trying to drive at night is good because the child might sleep most of the way. Play age appropriate games, such as I Spy or License Plate Bingo to keep them occupied. Remember, they are not going to tolerate the trip as easily as an adult and will need special attention and prepartion. Have a great June!

Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible schedule.

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.
Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at the Springfield, Jacksonville, and Beardstown locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.

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