December 2019 Newsletter

Couples Corner

Articles in various magazines and newspapers make it sound as if couples who have been married more than 30 years and are over 50 are at a great risk for "gray divorce." However, research by Professor Naomi Cahn and Professor June Carbone shows differently. They say that although the rate of divorce in this age group has increased dramatically, it is still half the rate of those under 50. 
The article does list ways to help marriage last. First, work on the friendship, continue to grow it. Second, be nicer and kinder to each other. In other words, treat each other as you treat other people. Third, talk to each other and let your partner know what you need during rough times in life. Fourth, look for opportunities to keep the relationship fresh by doing things out of the ordinary. Last, it is suggested to keep the conversation going. Talk about a variety of topics.

To read more of this article, clickhere.

Individual Corner

Individual Corner 

Most of us either know someone with some type of mental illness, or have one ourselves. For those with a mental illness, it is essential to take care of yourself. According to, it is of utmost importance to have a strong support system. Find someone who is trustworthy, respectful, willing to listen, allows you to grow, and has your best interest in mind. Other characteristics are listed in the article. It is also important to have peer support as well. A peer can best understand what you face and can be an advocate. It is also important that you participate in your treatment program and recovery plan. 

To learn more about caring for your mental state, click here.

Family Corner

We all experience some stress at the holidays in addition to the normal stress we all have. In an American Psychological Association (APA) survey, 73% of parents cited family responsibilities as a major stressor in their lives. Children mimic their parents' behaviors, including how they deal with stress, healthy or unhealthy. Changing behavior can be challenging for parents and their children. So, to begin a healthier lifestyle, it is important to change a little bit at a time. Tips offered by the APA include: 

1.Evaluating your lifestyle 
2. Talking about the stress in your life and encouraging your children to talk about theirs
3. Create a healthy environment, such as decluttering your house to make it more relaxing
4. Make a conscious decision to take care of yourself
 5. change one unhealthy habit at a time. 

To learn more about lessening stress in your family, click here.

Beyond the Physical: Mental Health on Your Fertility Journey
How to Deal When Everyone Else is Getting Pregnant
Last month we shared an article about surviving the holidays while facing infertility. During the holiday season you are bound to run into pregnant women at the mall or have a family member announce her pregnancy during dinner. Patricia Sachs, LCSW-C of Shady Grove Fertility offers questions and tips for handling the perfectly normal and expected feelings of anger, sadness, and jealousy.

  • Have you told any of your close friends or family members about what you are going through?
  • Take notice of when mothers and young children are most likely to be at the mall.
  • Recognize that jealousy is a normal feeling associated with infertility.
  • If you are going to a party or family gathering where you know there will be a pregnant person, enlist the help of a partner, spouse, or friend.
  • Receive support, resources, and reassurance.
  • Consider joining a support group of others experiencing infertility.

To read the full article, click here.
Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.

Happy December!
Merry Christmas! Continuing with the spirit of Thanksgiving, Christmas leaves me feeling grateful for family and friends. To show appreciation for clients, both past and present, I purchased complimentary Mood Magnets for you to show others how you are feeling. Simply contact me to get your magnet.

If you are struggling to feel grateful or enjoy the holdiays, or if you need assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out

Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.

Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
Donna's Corner
The last month of the year already! As we anticipate the holidays, remember to care for yourself. Remember, it is ok to say no. It's also ok to take a little time for yourself. Take time to rest or do something else relaxing for you. Plan ahead for activities that surround Christmas or other religious and secular holidays. Especially try not to pack too much into one day if you have young children. Remember, children might be hyperactive with excitement about the holiday. Make sure they get enough sleep and if you are traveling, take frequent breaks and bring along snacks and favorite toys. Have a joyous holiday!

Hello everyone! I am so happy to be part of ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 7:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 7:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible sch!edule.
Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.
Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at the Springfield, Jacksonville, and Beardstown locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.

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