December 2018 Newsletter

Couples Corner

We all would like to be in a happy, healthy relationship. What if five simple things could help achieve this? According to Ryan David, from the Mbg Relationship site, "It's not what we do every once in awhile that defines our lives." He states there are five simple things we can do on a daily basis. They are as follows:

1. Kiss for at least 30 seconds. This has to be a passionate and genuine kiss.
2. Communicate even when in the middle of a stressful situation. 
3. Connect to get in tune with what the other is going through. Be present.
4. Compliment your partner. It boosts self-esteem.
5. Laugh. Laughter releases feel-good hormones. 

To read more, click here

Individual Corner

Most of us love the holidays, but they can also produce stress. There are gifts to choose and buy and then to wrap. There is the decorating of the house and of the tree. In addition to the cooking and baking goodies. We often have little time to do all these things. Marie Baratta, a PhD and LCSW wrote an article entitled "Self-Care 101" for Psychology Today. In this article, she lists ten ways to exercise self-care and she states self-care goes a long way in managing stress.
Three ways on her list are:

1. Know who you are and your limits. Know what is too much for you.
2. Getting the sleep you need and knowing how to rest. Know how much sleep you need.
3. Making sure that you are well fed. Eat healthy and eat enough to provide the energy you need to function.
She lists 7 more ways to self-care, or self-nurture. If you follow these tips, you might find yourself less stressed and not ill as often, especially in this busy time of year.

To read more, click here.

Family Corner

Spending the holidays with family is not a warm, happy feeling for some people. Some families have a lot of drama and according to Linda Esposito, an LCSW and writer for Psychology Today, when confronted with family drama, some people tend to revert back to childhood dynamics. In her article, "Holiday Stress: Dealing with Family Drama and Dysfunction," she reminds that as a child, you did not have control over life events, but now you do. She discusses the choices you have - to not do anything differently, to try and change someone else, or to change yourself.
She gives tips to help in this family drama:

1. Plan ahead; make a mental list of three events that are likely to occur. For example, the uncle who always gets drunk and loud or the family member who complains continuously.
2. Know your triggers, i.e.: people, noise, alcohol.
3. Identify your triggers that increase your anger. 

She lists other helpful tips to help you deal with the family get-together.

To read more, click here.

Infertility Corner

Infertility has long been a topic not often discussed privately or in the media. That is changing. Michelle Obama talks about infertility in her new book and the popular NBC show "This Is Us" has an infertility storyline.
Tamara Jenkins has written and directed a movie for Netflix specifically about infertility. Private Life (2018) stars Kathryn Hahn and Paul Giamatti as a couple in their 40's trying to conceive. I linked the title to the IMDb page so you can read a bit for yourself to decide if it may or may not be helpful for you to watch the movie while going through your own family-building journey. While most any film will have creative license and thus contain inaccuracies, the film does capture the emotions of infertility and the stress infertility can place on relationships. 

To read more and watch the official trailer, click here.

For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.

Merry Christmas!

I hope you are enjoying this holiday season. Let's all remember the reason for the season so we can find meaning in this magical time of year and not just hustle, bustle, and stress.

To piggy-back on the Family Corner article, if family drama is a part of your life, you may benefit from subscribing to Dr. Alan Godwin's "The Drama Review" newsletter. Dr. Godwin wrote the book How to Solve Your People Problems and offers tips on dealing with difficult relationships.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out

Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.

Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
Donna's Corner

Well, it's that time of year again. As the song says, the most wonderful time of the year. For some it is a time of loneliness. It is a very difficult time of year to be alone or grieving. Please remember to reach out to others who have no one at this time of year. Drop by to visit for a few minutes, take them a small gift - it may be the only one they will receive. Take them goodies, send a card. Just let them know they are not alone.
If you are alone, volunteer at a local shelter or food line. It really does help to help others.
Take care of yourself.

Hello everyone! I am so happy to be part of ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 7:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 7:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible sch!edule.
Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.
Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at the Springfield, Jacksonville, and Beardstown locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.

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