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Couples Corner
In Holly Parker, PhD's blog on the Psychology Today website, she informs that interracial marriages make up 17 percent of all marriages in the United States. Although stigma has lessened through the years, there are still problems that come with interracial relationships.
There are three important facts to remember. First, races have different prejudices, privilege, discrimination, and violence. Second, there is a difference between race and culture. Race refers to physical traits, such as hair or skin color. Culture involves shared beliefs, traditions, and meanings that arise through years of shared experiences through life. Third, the fact that interracial couples deal with the stress of prejudice does not mean that they should not be together.
All couples have conflict, but these couples often have more than same race couples. Therefore, it is imperative the couple approach conflict with love and understanding. They need to treat disagreements with respect and consideration.
Due to the disapproval that friends or family members of the couple may exhibit, it is necessary for them to find their fan base. That is, to find those who embrace the relationship and are supportive of it. Social connections forecast more happiness for interracial couples.
When others speak out in judgment about the couple, it is very important each speaks out about racism. They also need to fight the urge to strike out. They need to exhibit their connectedness. Humor also helps when approached with prejudice. Also, it is a good idea to allow those who are struggling with the relationship some time to accept it.
For more information on effective communication, click here.
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Individual Corner
Have you ever misplaced your phone, or purse, or wallet in your home? Chances are this was due to not being mindful. In other words, you were not thinking about what you were doing at that moment. Your mind was elsewhere.
In the online magazine, Better Mental Health, Nina Bradshaw, a social worker in the UK, writes about mindfulness. In our busy world, we often live on autopilot. When we are mindful, we are aware of each moment and movement.
Mindfulness is helpful with anxiety and other mental heath disorders because when we are thinking in the moment, we cannot be dwelling on the past, or fearing the future. This ruminating about the past or stewing about the future is usually the cause of our anxiety.
In this article, Bradshaw gives some example of how to be mindful. The easiest way is to pay close attention to each breath, in and out. Another example is to chew a raisin slowly and pay attention to the senses, the taste, the texture, how it feels to be chewing it.
To learn more about caring for your mental state, click here.
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Family Corner
As more people remarry with children, there are more and more blended families. With blended families come unique challenges. A blended family is made when parents bring their children from a previous relationship into the new relationship. In doing so, different ways of parenting are often a conflict.
Other situations that affect these families are age differences in the children, or the closeness in ages between the stepparent and children, parental inexperience, different life experiences to name a few.
In the article, 'Blended Family and Step-Parenting Tips,' some suggestions are to allow time for the stepchild to adjust, to build rituals and routines, and to set limits and boundaries. Different developmental stages are addressed as well. For instance, adolescents between 10 and 14-years-old might have a harder time adjusting to the new family structure.
The author also stresses how important it is to have a solid marriage or relationship of the couple. Setting time aside for date nights is vitally important. Also, showing a united front as parents is essential to effective parenting in any family, but especially so when a blended family is involved.
To learn more about lessening stress in your family, click here.
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Infertility Corner
"Important Advice for New Couples Facing Infertility"
One in eight couples struggles with infertility and many, if not all, find the process to be overwhelming. If you’re facing infertility for the first time, the folks at the Houston Fertility Journal list 10 things you need to know to survive.
Don’t Go
Come Late, Leave Early
Alternatively, Host the Family Yourself
Don't Feel Like You Have to Hold Any Babies
Alternatively, Soak Up the Baby Love
Be Ready for the "When Are You Going to Have Kids?" Questions
Consider Whether to Tell Your Family or Not About Your Infertility
Don't Be Afraid to Cut Off Uncomfortable Conversations
Be Ready to Cope with Pregnancy Announcements
Hide in the Bathroom for a Few Minutes
Plan Your Post-Event Recovery Time
To read the full article, click here.
Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.
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Happy October!
October brings cooler weather, leaves changing color, days getting shorter, sipping hot cocoa, Columbus Day, National Bosses Day, United Nations Day, and Halloween. I hope this month's articles help you on your journey.
If you are having difficulty enjoying your autumn, or if you need assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.
Research is overwhelming on the power of gratitude to transform lives. Contact me for your copy of the Thankfulness 2020 calendar.
All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851
Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out here.
Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.
Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.
Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
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Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
Donna's Corner
Can it really be October? The calendar shows it is, so I guess it must be! With October comes Halloween. Please remember, although Halloween is fun for many children, small children are often frightened by costumes. They need not be scary to us to be so to them. Please, if they are scared, don't force them to partake in the festivities. Instead, take them to child friendly events. Definitely, do not take small children to haunted houses. Most haunted houses do have a child friendly day so they too can attend without being terrified. Validate their feelings. Don't make them feel there is anything wrong with being frightened, or they might not want to tell you in the future when they feel this way.
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be part of ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 7:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 7:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible sch!edule.
Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.
Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.
Donna is accepting new clients at the Springfield, Jacksonville, and Beardstown locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients. |
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