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June 2019 Newsletter


 


 
 



Couples Corner

7 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Relationship

 Brittany Wong of Huff Post says affair-proofing your relationship takes work, but it’s worth it. Yes, your partner, you, and your relationship are all worth it. Number one on the list is the most important because if you take that to heart, then you will gladly do the rest. 

1. Don't think you're immune to an affair.

2. Recognize and tend to the needs of your relationship.

3. Define what monogamy means to you.

4. Close the door on old flames.

5. Make time for sex.

6. Don't confide in someone other than your spouse (especially an attractive someone).

7. Actively show how much your partner means to you.

    To  learn more, click here

 


Individual Corner

June is a time of transition. We transition from Spring to Summer. There are graduations and weddings. Even when transitions are positive, they can cause us some negative feelings. Psychotherapist and author Richard B. Joelson, DSW talks about this in his article, "Managing Difficult Life Transitions." He states we have to "let go of familiarity and face the future with a feeling of vulnerability."
Some life changes are planned, such as weddings or graduations, but others are sudden and often unwanted, such as divorce or death.  Since we are facing losses with transitions, we experience anxiety.

Joelson lists seven stages of moving through a life transtion:
1. Experiencing a range of negative feelings
2. Loss of self-esteem
3. Begin to accept the change
4. Acknowledge that you need to let go of the past and accept the future
5. Begin to feel hopeful about the future
6. Feel increased self-esteem, and
7. Develop an optimistic view of the future.

We all deal with things differently and do not have to go through these stages in order. We may also return to previous stages. Joelson also lists some coping strategies, such as accepting that change is part of life, learning to identify and express your feelings, and expecting to feel uncomfortable. 

To read the full article and learn more about about coping with transition, click here.



Family Corner

With the summer comes children coming home from college, and with them coming home comes adjustments. In a New York Times article, psychologist Lisa Damour reminds us that while away at college, our young adults will probably change. Some changes might be good, such as being more willing to help around the house. Others might be difficult to accept, such as vaping and alcohol usage.

When our children are gone for extended periods, we usually miss them and want to spend time with them when they return. However, that might not be their first priority. They may not have seen some friends for that time period and may have missed favorite places as well. We have to understand that they will want to spend time with friends, and this does not mean they love us less.

It is important we discuss our expectations with our college students when they first return, such as to text if they will be late, or if we expect them to get a summer job. It is also important that members  of the family show respect to each other. Differences in routine will have to be worked out.

 
To read more, click here
 

 
Infertility Corner

June brings the celebration of Father's Day, which can be difficult for men struggling to conceive with their partners. An online research survey showed that 80% of men feel their emotional experience is overlooked when a couple faces infertility. To help meet the needs of men, leading infertility psychologists Dr. Alice Domar and Dr. Elizabeth Grill, enlisted the help of fellow infertility psychologists Dr. Janet Takefman and Dr. William  Petok to create FertiSTRONG – a fertility app specifically for men. FertiSTRONG serves as a companion to the FertiCALM app for women. Both apps cover 12 categories such as emotions, sex, pregnancy loss, fertility treatment, and social situations. Within each category, six sample tools are provided for areas such as cognitive, behavioral, and relaxation.

To read more about the men's survey, click
here.
 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy June!

June brings graduations, weddings, the beginning of summer, vacations, amusement parks, BBQs, swimming, hiking, and a multitude of outdoor activities. June also brings the anniversary D-Day, Flag Day, and Father's Day. I hope any of these days or other days you celebrate are full of happy moments.  


If you are having difficulty enjoying your summer, or if you need assitance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner

June brings Summer and for many, vacation. If you are driving  with small children, remember to take plenty of breaks and bring toys! It might help to keep some toys put away to hand out at different points in the trip. This will keep the child from becoming bored as easily. It also helps to have movies they can watch. Trying to drive at night is good because the child might sleep most of the way. Play age appropriate games, such as I Spy or License Plate Bingo to keep them occupied. Remember, they are not going to tolerate the trip as easily as an adult and will need special attention and prepartion. Have a great June!

 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible schedule.
 

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a  partial hospitalization program as well

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


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You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
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Couples Corner

7 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Relationship

 Brittany Wong of Huff Post says affair-proofing your relationship takes work, but it’s worth it. Yes, your partner, you, and your relationship are all worth it. Number one on the list is the most important because if you take that to heart, then you will gladly do the rest. 

1. Don't think you're immune to an affair.

2. Recognize and tend to the needs of your relationship.

3. Define what monogamy means to you.

4. Close the door on old flames.

5. Make time for sex.

6. Don't confide in someone other than your spouse (especially an attractive someone).

7. Actively show how much your partner means to you.

    To  learn more, click here

 


Individual Corner

June is a time of transition. We transition from Spring to Summer. There are graduations and weddings. Even when transitions are positive, they can cause us some negative feelings. Psychotherapist and author Richard B. Joelson, DSW talks about this in his article, "Managing Difficult Life Transitions." He states we have to "let go of familiarity and face the future with a feeling of vulnerability."
Some life changes are planned, such as weddings or graduations, but others are sudden and often unwanted, such as divorce or death.  Since we are facing losses with transitions, we experience anxiety.

Joelson lists seven stages of moving through a life transtion:
1. Experiencing a range of negative feelings
2. Loss of self-esteem
3. Begin to accept the change
4. Acknowledge that you need to let go of the past and accept the future
5. Begin to feel hopeful about the future
6. Feel increased self-esteem, and
7. Develop an optimistic view of the future.

We all deal with things differently and do not have to go through these stages in order. We may also return to previous stages. Joelson also lists some coping strategies, such as accepting that change is part of life, learning to identify and express your feelings, and expecting to feel uncomfortable. 

To read the full article and learn more about about coping with transition, click here.



Family Corner

With the summer comes children coming home from college, and with them coming home comes adjustments. In a New York Times article, psychologist Lisa Damour reminds us that while away at college, our young adults will probably change. Some changes might be good, such as being more willing to help around the house. Others might be difficult to accept, such as vaping and alcohol usage.

When our children are gone for extended periods, we usually miss them and want to spend time with them when they return. However, that might not be their first priority. They may not have seen some friends for that time period and may have missed favorite places as well. We have to understand that they will want to spend time with friends, and this does not mean they love us less.

It is important we discuss our expectations with our college students when they first return, such as to text if they will be late, or if we expect them to get a summer job. It is also important that members  of the family show respect to each other. Differences in routine will have to be worked out.

 
To read more, click here
 

 
Infertility Corner

June brings the celebration of Father's Day, which can be difficult for men struggling to conceive with their partners. An online research survey showed that 80% of men feel their emotional experience is overlooked when a couple faces infertility. To help meet the needs of men, leading infertility psychologists Dr. Alice Domar and Dr. Elizabeth Grill, enlisted the help of fellow infertility psychologists Dr. Janet Takefman and Dr. William  Petok to create FertiSTRONG – a fertility app specifically for men. FertiSTRONG serves as a companion to the FertiCALM app for women. Both apps cover 12 categories such as emotions, sex, pregnancy loss, fertility treatment, and social situations. Within each category, six sample tools are provided for areas such as cognitive, behavioral, and relaxation.

To read more about the men's survey, click
here.
 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy June!

June brings graduations, weddings, the beginning of summer, vacations, amusement parks, BBQs, swimming, hiking, and a multitude of outdoor activities. June also brings the anniversary D-Day, Flag Day, and Father's Day. I hope any of these days or other days you celebrate are full of happy moments.  


If you are having difficulty enjoying your summer, or if you need assitance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner

June brings Summer and for many, vacation. If you are driving  with small children, remember to take plenty of breaks and bring toys! It might help to keep some toys put away to hand out at different points in the trip. This will keep the child from becoming bored as easily. It also helps to have movies they can watch. Trying to drive at night is good because the child might sleep most of the way. Play age appropriate games, such as I Spy or License Plate Bingo to keep them occupied. Remember, they are not going to tolerate the trip as easily as an adult and will need special attention and prepartion. Have a great June!

 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible schedule.
 

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a  partial hospitalization program as well

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
]]>
Fri, 31 May 2019 11:30:00 +0000
https://mailchi.mp/ab4081654101/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-808417 https://mailchi.mp/ab4081654101/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-808417
 


 
 



Couples Corner

 Each relationship has problems. Margarita Tartakovsky, MS, associate editor of PsychCentral, reviews Randi Gunther, PhD's new book, entitled  When Love Stumbles: How to Rediscover Love, Trust and Fulfillment in Your Relationship. In this book, Gunther shares a six-step healing plan for these stumbles. First, she identifies the eight most common problems and then steps to help remedy them.

1. From fulfillment to disillusionment.
2. From excitement to boredom
3. From constructive challenges to destructive conflicts
4. From sacrificing for your partner to self-preservation
5. From being a team to operating solo
6. From feeling unconditionally loved to being on trial
7. From focusing on the relationship to pursuing outside interests
8. From common goals to different dreams

Her solutions to these problems are:
1. Go back to the beginning of your relationship. Remember when you first fell in love and share these memories with your partner.

2. Evaluate your current relationship. Talk to each other honestly about your feelings about the state of your relationship, both the positive and negative aspects.

3. When did you begin to drift? You will learn how recalling smaller incidents that were not resolved will help you heal and prevent new stumbles.

4. What prevented your recovery at the time this stumble occurred? Paying attention to what made you ignore them before may help you identify them now.

5. What do you need from each other to reawaken your love? Talk to each other about your needs.

6. What will you do differently to safeguard your relationship if it stumbles in the future? Gunther suggests making relationship vows by using your new knowledge.


    To  learn more, click here

 



Individual Corner
 
As busy individuals, we often tend to put our mental health on the back burner. This can, and most times does, lead to burn-out. In US News, health contributor Laura Hemil discusses these five signs that it is time to take a mental break in her article, "When to Take a Mental Health Break."

1. Difficulty focusing. Two of the ways she gives to help this is to limit distractions and not to be afraid to ask for help when needed.

2. Your relationships are suffering. If you are missing too many family events, take a break and give yourself a chance to catch up. Also, be present, stick to your commitments, and be accountable.

3.You're showing physical signs of being under stress. Stress can hurt your body. It can lead to cardiovascular problems. She says to start by acknowledging the cause of the stress and make a plan of how you will handle it.

4. Your self-care no longer exists. Caretakers are especially at risk. If you find yourself skipping lunch or doctor's appointments, then you are not taking care of yourself. Practice putting yourself first, maybe by taking time to meditate or booking workout sessions ahead of time.

5.You're running on empty. Lack of sleep and poor nutrition are two of the most obvious signs of burn-out. Take the time to refresh and recharge, by taking a walk, getting a good night's sleep, and strengthening your mind and body.

To read the full article and learn more about stress, click here.




Family Corner
 
Do you post about your children on social media? The folks at Jellies offer these five reasons you might want to rethink what you post, or if you post at all:
 
1. Posting on Social Media Can Invade Your Child's Privacy

2. Your Social Media Posts Might Be Used for Bullying

3. Social Media Messaging Could Impact Your Child's Future

4. Sharing Puts Your Child at Risk for Digital Kidnapping

5. Your Social Media Posts Might Attract Dangerous People

 
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner

Mother's Day can be emotionally painful when you are having difficulty conceiving.
FertiCALM is a fertility emotions app for women created by leading infertility psychologists Dr. Alice Domar and Dr. Elizabeth Grill. The app covers 12 broad categories, such as baby functions, work, social events, fertility treatment, and sex. Each category is divided into infertility-specific life situations. Six different suggestions/solutions to use are given for each life situation, such
 as cognitive, behavioral, and relaxation skills.

To learn more about FertiCALM, click
here.

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy May

May brings May Day, Mother's Day, Armed Forces Day, and Memorial Day. I hope any of these days or other days you celebrate are full of happy moments. I hope that your life is full of blooming May flowers that were brought on by April showers. If you are having a tough time this May, I hope that you have the love and support of family and friends.  

If you need assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
May tends to be a busy month for many. Weddings, end of school events, graduations, proms and  Mother's Day all happen in May. In all this busyness, it's easy to become overwhelmed. Remember, even in the midst of all this, it is important to continue your self-care. Take time out for yourself: exercise, get plenty of rest and eat healthy. It is a fun time, and we want to be well enough to take part and enjoy ourselves. 
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible schedule.
 

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a  partial hospitalization program as well

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
]]>
 


 
 



Couples Corner

 Each relationship has problems. Margarita Tartakovsky, MS, associate editor of PsychCentral, reviews Randi Gunther, PhD's new book, entitled  When Love Stumbles: How to Rediscover Love, Trust and Fulfillment in Your Relationship. In this book, Gunther shares a six-step healing plan for these stumbles. First, she identifies the eight most common problems and then steps to help remedy them.

1. From fulfillment to disillusionment.
2. From excitement to boredom
3. From constructive challenges to destructive conflicts
4. From sacrificing for your partner to self-preservation
5. From being a team to operating solo
6. From feeling unconditionally loved to being on trial
7. From focusing on the relationship to pursuing outside interests
8. From common goals to different dreams

Her solutions to these problems are:
1. Go back to the beginning of your relationship. Remember when you first fell in love and share these memories with your partner.

2. Evaluate your current relationship. Talk to each other honestly about your feelings about the state of your relationship, both the positive and negative aspects.

3. When did you begin to drift? You will learn how recalling smaller incidents that were not resolved will help you heal and prevent new stumbles.

4. What prevented your recovery at the time this stumble occurred? Paying attention to what made you ignore them before may help you identify them now.

5. What do you need from each other to reawaken your love? Talk to each other about your needs.

6. What will you do differently to safeguard your relationship if it stumbles in the future? Gunther suggests making relationship vows by using your new knowledge.


    To  learn more, click here

 



Individual Corner
 
As busy individuals, we often tend to put our mental health on the back burner. This can, and most times does, lead to burn-out. In US News, health contributor Laura Hemil discusses these five signs that it is time to take a mental break in her article, "When to Take a Mental Health Break."

1. Difficulty focusing. Two of the ways she gives to help this is to limit distractions and not to be afraid to ask for help when needed.

2. Your relationships are suffering. If you are missing too many family events, take a break and give yourself a chance to catch up. Also, be present, stick to your commitments, and be accountable.

3.You're showing physical signs of being under stress. Stress can hurt your body. It can lead to cardiovascular problems. She says to start by acknowledging the cause of the stress and make a plan of how you will handle it.

4. Your self-care no longer exists. Caretakers are especially at risk. If you find yourself skipping lunch or doctor's appointments, then you are not taking care of yourself. Practice putting yourself first, maybe by taking time to meditate or booking workout sessions ahead of time.

5.You're running on empty. Lack of sleep and poor nutrition are two of the most obvious signs of burn-out. Take the time to refresh and recharge, by taking a walk, getting a good night's sleep, and strengthening your mind and body.

To read the full article and learn more about stress, click here.




Family Corner
 
Do you post about your children on social media? The folks at Jellies offer these five reasons you might want to rethink what you post, or if you post at all:
 
1. Posting on Social Media Can Invade Your Child's Privacy

2. Your Social Media Posts Might Be Used for Bullying

3. Social Media Messaging Could Impact Your Child's Future

4. Sharing Puts Your Child at Risk for Digital Kidnapping

5. Your Social Media Posts Might Attract Dangerous People

 
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner

Mother's Day can be emotionally painful when you are having difficulty conceiving.
FertiCALM is a fertility emotions app for women created by leading infertility psychologists Dr. Alice Domar and Dr. Elizabeth Grill. The app covers 12 broad categories, such as baby functions, work, social events, fertility treatment, and sex. Each category is divided into infertility-specific life situations. Six different suggestions/solutions to use are given for each life situation, such
 as cognitive, behavioral, and relaxation skills.

To learn more about FertiCALM, click
here.

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy May

May brings May Day, Mother's Day, Armed Forces Day, and Memorial Day. I hope any of these days or other days you celebrate are full of happy moments. I hope that your life is full of blooming May flowers that were brought on by April showers. If you are having a tough time this May, I hope that you have the love and support of family and friends.  

If you need assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
May tends to be a busy month for many. Weddings, end of school events, graduations, proms and  Mother's Day all happen in May. In all this busyness, it's easy to become overwhelmed. Remember, even in the midst of all this, it is important to continue your self-care. Take time out for yourself: exercise, get plenty of rest and eat healthy. It is a fun time, and we want to be well enough to take part and enjoy ourselves. 
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible schedule.
 

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a  partial hospitalization program as well

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
]]>
Wed, 01 May 2019 11:30:00 +0000
https://mailchi.mp/7a26eac3eab4/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-793301 https://mailchi.mp/7a26eac3eab4/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-793301
 


 
 


Couples Corner
 

I think it is time for a review of The Four Horsemen. The Four Horsemen is the name of a metaphor John Gottman has used to describe communication patterns that, if left unchecked, can kill a relationship. Fortunately, there are antidotes for each horseman.

Criticism - A criticism attacks a person's character rather than focusing on specific behavior. The antidote for criticism is to complain without blame.

Contempt - Contempt statements come from a relative position of superiority. Some examples of displays of contempt include sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor. The antidote to contempt is building a culture of appreciation and respect.

Defensiveness - Defensiveness is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in an attempt to ward off a perceived attack. Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. The antidote to defensiveness is to accept responsibility, even if only for part of the conflict.

Stonewalling - Stonewalling occurs when the listener withdraws from the interaction. The antidote is to practice physiological self-soothing. 


    To  learn more, click here

 


Individual Corner
 
Anger is one of the six basic emotions identified by Paul Ekman's research. (The other five are disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise.) Anger is also a secondary emotion that is layered over primary emotions as a sort of force-field used to protect raw, vulnerable, overwhelming feelings. In his article, "The Anger Iceberg," Kyle Benson offers these three tips to listening to anger:

1. Don't take it personally - the person's anger is usually not about you, but about his or her primary emotions
2. Don't EVER tell your partner to "calm down" - doing so does not validate the person's feelings
3. Identify the obstacle - anger is often caused by an obstacle blocking a goal

    
To read the full article and learn more about anger, click here.




Family Corner
 
While parenting fads may come and go, the basic needs of child development remain relatively stable. Research shows successful parenting involves combining warmth and sensitivity with clear expectations while completing these four main parenting responsibilities:

Maintaining health and safety
Promoting emotional well-being
Instilling social skills
Preparing children intellectually


Successful parents keep these Four C’s in mind:
Care  - showing acceptance and affection
Consistency - maintaining a stable environment
Choices - allowing the child to develop autonomy
Consequences  - applying repercussions of choices, whether positive or negative  

 
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner

National Infertility Awareness Week is April 21-27, 2019. This year's theme is #Infertility Uncovered. National Infertility Awareness Week is hosted by RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. RESOLVE's goal is "to use this theme to raise awareness about the significant lack of access to family building options and emotional support for millions of women and men struggling to build a family."

You can get involved by sharing your story or reading other people's stories
here.

For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851 


Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy April!

April brings April Fools Day, Passover, Easter, Earth Day, and Administrative Professionals Day. I hope any of these days or other days you celebrate are full of happy moments. It has been said that April showers bring May flowers. I hope that your life is full of blooming flowers. One of my favorite sayings is, "Bloom where you are planted." 

If you are having difficulty blooming where you are planted, or if you need assitance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
April showers bring May flowers. How many times did we hear that growing up? In those times of showers in our lives, it is often hard to wait for the flowers. We cannot control what has already happened, and cannot predict what will happen. The only thing we can control is how we react to a situation. Reach out for support and if possible, look for a solution. We feel better if we have the feeling of some control in whatever we face. 
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible schedule.
 

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a  partial hospitalization program as well

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


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You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
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Couples Corner
 

I think it is time for a review of The Four Horsemen. The Four Horsemen is the name of a metaphor John Gottman has used to describe communication patterns that, if left unchecked, can kill a relationship. Fortunately, there are antidotes for each horseman.

Criticism - A criticism attacks a person's character rather than focusing on specific behavior. The antidote for criticism is to complain without blame.

Contempt - Contempt statements come from a relative position of superiority. Some examples of displays of contempt include sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor. The antidote to contempt is building a culture of appreciation and respect.

Defensiveness - Defensiveness is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in an attempt to ward off a perceived attack. Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. The antidote to defensiveness is to accept responsibility, even if only for part of the conflict.

Stonewalling - Stonewalling occurs when the listener withdraws from the interaction. The antidote is to practice physiological self-soothing. 


    To  learn more, click here

 


Individual Corner
 
Anger is one of the six basic emotions identified by Paul Ekman's research. (The other five are disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise.) Anger is also a secondary emotion that is layered over primary emotions as a sort of force-field used to protect raw, vulnerable, overwhelming feelings. In his article, "The Anger Iceberg," Kyle Benson offers these three tips to listening to anger:

1. Don't take it personally - the person's anger is usually not about you, but about his or her primary emotions
2. Don't EVER tell your partner to "calm down" - doing so does not validate the person's feelings
3. Identify the obstacle - anger is often caused by an obstacle blocking a goal

    
To read the full article and learn more about anger, click here.




Family Corner
 
While parenting fads may come and go, the basic needs of child development remain relatively stable. Research shows successful parenting involves combining warmth and sensitivity with clear expectations while completing these four main parenting responsibilities:

Maintaining health and safety
Promoting emotional well-being
Instilling social skills
Preparing children intellectually


Successful parents keep these Four C’s in mind:
Care  - showing acceptance and affection
Consistency - maintaining a stable environment
Choices - allowing the child to develop autonomy
Consequences  - applying repercussions of choices, whether positive or negative  

 
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner

National Infertility Awareness Week is April 21-27, 2019. This year's theme is #Infertility Uncovered. National Infertility Awareness Week is hosted by RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. RESOLVE's goal is "to use this theme to raise awareness about the significant lack of access to family building options and emotional support for millions of women and men struggling to build a family."

You can get involved by sharing your story or reading other people's stories
here.

For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851 


Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy April!

April brings April Fools Day, Passover, Easter, Earth Day, and Administrative Professionals Day. I hope any of these days or other days you celebrate are full of happy moments. It has been said that April showers bring May flowers. I hope that your life is full of blooming flowers. One of my favorite sayings is, "Bloom where you are planted." 

If you are having difficulty blooming where you are planted, or if you need assitance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
April showers bring May flowers. How many times did we hear that growing up? In those times of showers in our lives, it is often hard to wait for the flowers. We cannot control what has already happened, and cannot predict what will happen. The only thing we can control is how we react to a situation. Reach out for support and if possible, look for a solution. We feel better if we have the feeling of some control in whatever we face. 
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS as an independent provider! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also seeing clients in my new Beardstown office, also on a flexible schedule.
 

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a  partial hospitalization program as well

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
]]>
Mon, 01 Apr 2019 11:15:00 +0000
https://mailchi.mp/9a321595c09f/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-774661 https://mailchi.mp/9a321595c09f/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-774661
 


 
   
 

Couples Corner

         Not all relationships are healthy. According to an article by the staff of HealthPrep, there are five signs of a healthy relationship. The first is that both are equals. This involves compromising and responding to each other's input.
     Next, is that each have mutual respect. This means appreciating each other's values and choices. Respect is a vital part of a loving relationship.
     Thirdly, is having open and honest communication. This is the fuel that drives the relationship. Many a relationship has failed when communication is lacking.
     Fourth, each should be supportive of the other's goals. Dreams for the future need to be shared and appreciated by both. Day to day goals should also be discussed and respected.
     The last sign of a healthy relationship is the couple is responsible and accountable. They come through for each other. They can expect support from each other.

    To read the full article, click here

 


Individual Corner
 
     We all have had to deal with acceptance. Some things are easier for us to accept than others. When it is something we don't want to accept, acceptance becomes a difficult task. In "How to Accept What We Really Don't Want to Accept" from a Psychology Today blog, the myths and misconceptions about acceptance are first addressed.
      We tend to think that when we accept something, we are okay with it. In reality, we don't have to be okay with what we're accepting. Acceptance doesn't mean we have to agree with it. We might still feel uncomfortable with whatever it is.
     Acceptance does not mean we have given up on changing the situation. It is about now, not the future. It is agreeing to start our efforts from where we are now and considering what actually is.
     Acceptance does not mean failure. In our society, we see acceptance as something that happens when we give up. In actuality, it can be the beginning of success.
     The author of the article, Nancy Collier, LCSW, Rev., says she prefers to use the word relax rather than accept because there are so many misconceptions with accept. So, instead of "Can I accept this," think, "Can I relax with this?" Relaxing with it also means allowing the not wanting to do it in and keeping resistance as it protects us.
     Secondly, relaxing with it means that we are looking at reality rather than how we feel about a situation. It is simply what it is. It is happening.


To read the full article and learn more about acceptance, click here



Family Corner

Around 70% of all kids quit organized sports by age 13. It’s time to start a serious dialogue to reverse this trend. Julianna W. Miner, a Public Health educator writing for the Washington Post, offers several reasons for this, including the fact that it’s just not fun anymore. She says it is not fun because it is no longer designed to be fun. Instead, there is an overemphasis on competitiveness, achievement, and success that lead kids to believe if they are not the best, than they just will not play at all. Ms. Miner argues that we should give kids a way to stay in sports by shifting the emphasis back to where it belongs – healthy, happy, active kids.
   
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner

When facing infertility, the question “Do you have kids?” can be toxic, leading to apprehension. How much do you want to disclose about your infertility when a new acquaintance asks this question? Connie Shapiro, PhD offers some possible responses, ranging from a simple factual “No” to a detailed emotional response. Dr. Shapiro also offers possible responses if your infertility story includes pregnancy loss or adoption. Your responses may vary over time as you continue your infertility journey.

To read the full article, click here.

 
For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy March

March brings Ash Wednesday, Daylight Saving Time, St. Patrick's Day, and the beginning of Spring. I have heard many people say they are ready for spring after the winter we have had. For these folks, spring can bring an end to their seasonal affective disorder, commonly known as the "winter blues." For some people, though, spring has the opposite effect - leading to a condition known as "reverse seasonal affective disorder" in which spring brings with it symptoms of depression. If you suffer from reverse seasonal affective disorder, you are not alone and help is just a phone call away.

If you need assistance setting or maintaining realistic goals, or assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
March, the month Spring begins! It might not feel like it, but it is coming! It has been a long winter, and cabin fever is at its peak!  Spring is the time of change, of growth, and of possibilities. Many people do Spring cleaning. If you do, why not also purge bad habits and behaviors along with the unused clothing and knickknacks? What better time to start making changes!
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also  seeing clients in ConnectEdPAIRS' new Beardstown satellite office, also on a flexible schedule.
 

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a  partial hospitalization program as well

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
]]>
 


 
   
 

Couples Corner

         Not all relationships are healthy. According to an article by the staff of HealthPrep, there are five signs of a healthy relationship. The first is that both are equals. This involves compromising and responding to each other's input.
     Next, is that each have mutual respect. This means appreciating each other's values and choices. Respect is a vital part of a loving relationship.
     Thirdly, is having open and honest communication. This is the fuel that drives the relationship. Many a relationship has failed when communication is lacking.
     Fourth, each should be supportive of the other's goals. Dreams for the future need to be shared and appreciated by both. Day to day goals should also be discussed and respected.
     The last sign of a healthy relationship is the couple is responsible and accountable. They come through for each other. They can expect support from each other.

    To read the full article, click here

 


Individual Corner
 
     We all have had to deal with acceptance. Some things are easier for us to accept than others. When it is something we don't want to accept, acceptance becomes a difficult task. In "How to Accept What We Really Don't Want to Accept" from a Psychology Today blog, the myths and misconceptions about acceptance are first addressed.
      We tend to think that when we accept something, we are okay with it. In reality, we don't have to be okay with what we're accepting. Acceptance doesn't mean we have to agree with it. We might still feel uncomfortable with whatever it is.
     Acceptance does not mean we have given up on changing the situation. It is about now, not the future. It is agreeing to start our efforts from where we are now and considering what actually is.
     Acceptance does not mean failure. In our society, we see acceptance as something that happens when we give up. In actuality, it can be the beginning of success.
     The author of the article, Nancy Collier, LCSW, Rev., says she prefers to use the word relax rather than accept because there are so many misconceptions with accept. So, instead of "Can I accept this," think, "Can I relax with this?" Relaxing with it also means allowing the not wanting to do it in and keeping resistance as it protects us.
     Secondly, relaxing with it means that we are looking at reality rather than how we feel about a situation. It is simply what it is. It is happening.


To read the full article and learn more about acceptance, click here



Family Corner

Around 70% of all kids quit organized sports by age 13. It’s time to start a serious dialogue to reverse this trend. Julianna W. Miner, a Public Health educator writing for the Washington Post, offers several reasons for this, including the fact that it’s just not fun anymore. She says it is not fun because it is no longer designed to be fun. Instead, there is an overemphasis on competitiveness, achievement, and success that lead kids to believe if they are not the best, than they just will not play at all. Ms. Miner argues that we should give kids a way to stay in sports by shifting the emphasis back to where it belongs – healthy, happy, active kids.
   
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner

When facing infertility, the question “Do you have kids?” can be toxic, leading to apprehension. How much do you want to disclose about your infertility when a new acquaintance asks this question? Connie Shapiro, PhD offers some possible responses, ranging from a simple factual “No” to a detailed emotional response. Dr. Shapiro also offers possible responses if your infertility story includes pregnancy loss or adoption. Your responses may vary over time as you continue your infertility journey.

To read the full article, click here.

 
For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy March

March brings Ash Wednesday, Daylight Saving Time, St. Patrick's Day, and the beginning of Spring. I have heard many people say they are ready for spring after the winter we have had. For these folks, spring can bring an end to their seasonal affective disorder, commonly known as the "winter blues." For some people, though, spring has the opposite effect - leading to a condition known as "reverse seasonal affective disorder" in which spring brings with it symptoms of depression. If you suffer from reverse seasonal affective disorder, you are not alone and help is just a phone call away.

If you need assistance setting or maintaining realistic goals, or assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
March, the month Spring begins! It might not feel like it, but it is coming! It has been a long winter, and cabin fever is at its peak!  Spring is the time of change, of growth, and of possibilities. Many people do Spring cleaning. If you do, why not also purge bad habits and behaviors along with the unused clothing and knickknacks? What better time to start making changes!
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday.  I now am also  seeing clients in ConnectEdPAIRS' new Beardstown satellite office, also on a flexible schedule.
 

Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a  partial hospitalization program as well

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
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Fri, 01 Mar 2019 12:15:00 +0000
https://mailchi.mp/9c16138a1e28/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-757489 https://mailchi.mp/9c16138a1e28/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-757489
 


 
 
 


Couples Corner

     Dr. John Gottman has studied relationships for over four decades. Through this research, he found a pattern in those couples who did not make it. They all had one thing in common - contempt. Gottman Institute expert Mick McNulty, PhD, LCSW breaks this down into why contempt is so detrimental to a relationship, how to spot it in your partner and yourself, and how to stop it.

     He states all relationships have ongoing problems that resurface and it is how they are handled that can make or break a couple. Partners who are headed toward divorce become angry and use criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness - otherwise known as the Four Horsemen. He states when this happens, hormones are released and physical symptoms occur that are not conducive to effective communication. He also states that as long as the couple is keeping up dialogue, they haven't given up. According to McNulty, relationships die by ice, rather than fire. In other words, when couples stop trying to talk and give up, they usually head to divorce.

     He lists five things couples can do to handle conflict better. One is to give expectations a reality check. Don't expect too much from each other. Also, remind yourself that your partner has different opinions and needs than you. It is okay to not agree on everything. Another on the list is to listen more deeply to your partner's point of view rather than feeling anger.

To read the full article, click
here.

 


Individual Corner
 
You may have heard of CBT, or Cognitive Behavior Therapy, but what is it exactly? Ben Martin, PsyD of PsychCentral defines CBT as “a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people’s difficulties, and so change the way they feel. It is used to help treat a wide range of issues in a person’s life, from sleeping difficulties or relationship problems, to drug and alcohol abuse or anxiety and depression. CBT works by changing people’s attitudes and their behavior by focusing on the thoughts, images, beliefs and attitudes that are held (a person’s cognitive processes) and how these processes relate to the way a person behaves, as a way of dealing with emotional problems.”
 
Simply stated, it is not what happens in life, but what you think of what happens that causes how you feel. If you believe you may fall into faulty thinking patterns, call for an appointment to see how CBT can help.
 
To read the full article and learn more about cognitive therapy, click
here.


Cyber Bullying Statistics | LoveToKnow

Family Corner
 
 Bullying has been around for as long as there have been people. Now, there is a newer medium for bullying - social media and the internet. In her article on LIFamilies, Rachel Derry gives some suggestions on what to do if your teen is being cyber bullied. 

     First, she says to make sure your teen knows it is okay to come to you with his or her issues. Build on the relationship so the teen will feel comfortable bringing issues to you. She also suggests looking into methods of monitoring and blocking messages. She says not to take social media away, because that would only make the teen feel punished for coming to you with the truth.

     Going to the school administration without consulting the teen is another way to drive a wedge between you and your teen. Consult with your teen first and discuss possible consequences and benefits of doing so. Help the teen see that it is not personal, but a deeper issue on the part of the bully. Help empower him/her by making it a cause.
    
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner

Going through infertility treatment can put a strain on your self-esteem, your budget, and your marriage. This month’s article, “‘Emotional trauma’: New therapy for couples undergoing fertility treatments targets relationship strife” comes from Canada, but it is also true here in the United States that individuals and couples going through infertility treatment can benefit from counseling. Unfortunately, infertility journeys often include stress, anxiety, depression, guilt, feeling as if your body has betrayed you, and questioning your relationship. If you are wondering if counseling may help you, call me for a free 20-minute consultation.

To read the full article, click here.

 
For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy February

February brings us relief from the recent bitter cold, Groundhog Day, Lincoln's Birthday, Valentine's Day, Presidents' Day, and National Marriage Week USA.

National Marriage Week USA is a national campaign to help marriage and is held every February 7-14, the week leading up to Valentine's Day. To read the research showing why marriage matters, visit their website
here.

If you need assistance setting or maintaining realistic goals, or assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
Ah, February! The month we think of love. Well, Valentine's Day is not a day many think of fondly. One of the problems is that we tend to romanticize and expect too much of the day. It is often a disappointment for people, and a day of sadness when one is alone. Like anything, try not to expect too much from the day. If you do not have a partner, pamper yourself, give yourself a present. Also, remember those who are alone and give them a card or a kind word on Valentine's Day.
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. In the near future, I will also be seeing clients in ConnectEdPAIRS' new Beardstown satellite office, also on a flexible schedule.

 Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


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Couples Corner

     Dr. John Gottman has studied relationships for over four decades. Through this research, he found a pattern in those couples who did not make it. They all had one thing in common - contempt. Gottman Institute expert Mick McNulty, PhD, LCSW breaks this down into why contempt is so detrimental to a relationship, how to spot it in your partner and yourself, and how to stop it.

     He states all relationships have ongoing problems that resurface and it is how they are handled that can make or break a couple. Partners who are headed toward divorce become angry and use criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness - otherwise known as the Four Horsemen. He states when this happens, hormones are released and physical symptoms occur that are not conducive to effective communication. He also states that as long as the couple is keeping up dialogue, they haven't given up. According to McNulty, relationships die by ice, rather than fire. In other words, when couples stop trying to talk and give up, they usually head to divorce.

     He lists five things couples can do to handle conflict better. One is to give expectations a reality check. Don't expect too much from each other. Also, remind yourself that your partner has different opinions and needs than you. It is okay to not agree on everything. Another on the list is to listen more deeply to your partner's point of view rather than feeling anger.

To read the full article, click
here.

 


Individual Corner
 
You may have heard of CBT, or Cognitive Behavior Therapy, but what is it exactly? Ben Martin, PsyD of PsychCentral defines CBT as “a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people’s difficulties, and so change the way they feel. It is used to help treat a wide range of issues in a person’s life, from sleeping difficulties or relationship problems, to drug and alcohol abuse or anxiety and depression. CBT works by changing people’s attitudes and their behavior by focusing on the thoughts, images, beliefs and attitudes that are held (a person’s cognitive processes) and how these processes relate to the way a person behaves, as a way of dealing with emotional problems.”
 
Simply stated, it is not what happens in life, but what you think of what happens that causes how you feel. If you believe you may fall into faulty thinking patterns, call for an appointment to see how CBT can help.
 
To read the full article and learn more about cognitive therapy, click
here.


Cyber Bullying Statistics | LoveToKnow

Family Corner
 
 Bullying has been around for as long as there have been people. Now, there is a newer medium for bullying - social media and the internet. In her article on LIFamilies, Rachel Derry gives some suggestions on what to do if your teen is being cyber bullied. 

     First, she says to make sure your teen knows it is okay to come to you with his or her issues. Build on the relationship so the teen will feel comfortable bringing issues to you. She also suggests looking into methods of monitoring and blocking messages. She says not to take social media away, because that would only make the teen feel punished for coming to you with the truth.

     Going to the school administration without consulting the teen is another way to drive a wedge between you and your teen. Consult with your teen first and discuss possible consequences and benefits of doing so. Help the teen see that it is not personal, but a deeper issue on the part of the bully. Help empower him/her by making it a cause.
    
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner

Going through infertility treatment can put a strain on your self-esteem, your budget, and your marriage. This month’s article, “‘Emotional trauma’: New therapy for couples undergoing fertility treatments targets relationship strife” comes from Canada, but it is also true here in the United States that individuals and couples going through infertility treatment can benefit from counseling. Unfortunately, infertility journeys often include stress, anxiety, depression, guilt, feeling as if your body has betrayed you, and questioning your relationship. If you are wondering if counseling may help you, call me for a free 20-minute consultation.

To read the full article, click here.

 
For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.


!

Happy February

February brings us relief from the recent bitter cold, Groundhog Day, Lincoln's Birthday, Valentine's Day, Presidents' Day, and National Marriage Week USA.

National Marriage Week USA is a national campaign to help marriage and is held every February 7-14, the week leading up to Valentine's Day. To read the research showing why marriage matters, visit their website
here.

If you need assistance setting or maintaining realistic goals, or assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
Ah, February! The month we think of love. Well, Valentine's Day is not a day many think of fondly. One of the problems is that we tend to romanticize and expect too much of the day. It is often a disappointment for people, and a day of sadness when one is alone. Like anything, try not to expect too much from the day. If you do not have a partner, pamper yourself, give yourself a present. Also, remember those who are alone and give them a card or a kind word on Valentine's Day.
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. In the near future, I will also be seeing clients in ConnectEdPAIRS' new Beardstown satellite office, also on a flexible schedule.

 Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 
 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
]]>
Fri, 01 Feb 2019 12:30:00 +0000
https://mailchi.mp/a4af3537c6d7/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-741945 https://mailchi.mp/a4af3537c6d7/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-741945
 


 
 
 


Couples Corner
 

Did you make a new years resolution to improve your relationship? If so, how will you know if you need a professional counselor to help you achieve that goal? The average couple waits six years to seek professional counseling, and sometimes that is too late. The folks at HealthyPlace.com suggest these issues are a counseling must:

One of you is very insecure, clingy, or jealous

You’re both moody with each other most of the time

One or both of you can’t discuss feelings with the other

Discussions always turn into rows

One or the other of you is unhappy much of the time

You’ve stopped having sex

If any of these, or other issues, apply to you and you’re wondering if you can afford marriage counseling, I am a firm believer in that sometimes we can’t afford NOT to do something. In an article, Willard F. Hartley, Jr., author of 5 Steps to Romantic Love provides this perspective on marriage counseling:

“To help put the cost of marriage counseling in perspective, there’s nothing you can buy for $10,000 that will give you the same quality of life that a healthy marriage provides. If you and your spouse love each other and meet each other’s important emotional needs, you’ll be able to do without many other things and still be happier in the end. Besides, I’ve found that people seem to earn more and save more after their marital problems are solved. The money you spend to resolve your marital problems is money well spent.”

To read the full article, click here.

 


Individual Corner
 
The beginning of a new year is a great time to take stock in who you spend time with. Am I putting more into this relationship than the other person? What do I need in a friendship? Am I appreciated? Are people in my life toxic to me?

In her article in Psychology Today, Abigail Brenner, MD says that toxic people are manipulative and use people to get what they want. She goes on to list seven other common traits of toxic people. Some of these are being judgmental and critical of you. They will also lie. The next trait is to take no responsibility for their own feelings. They will defend themselves and also project their feelings onto you. Do not expect the toxic individual to apologize for anything. Why apologize when you do nothing wrong? It is always someone else's fault. In fact, they will play the victim card to get sympathy from you or others.

Dr. Brenner lists four other traits in her article. She describes being in a friendship with a toxic person as draining, full of created drama. She also says that if you feel badly about yourself due to a relationship, it is time to examine that same relationship.


To read the full article, click here.




Family Corner
 
Spanking a child has been controversial for the past few decades, however, it was common place and encouraged in the decades before. Elizabeth Gershoff and coauthor Andrew Grayson-Kaylor wrote an article about a 50-year research project at the University of Texas on spanking. This research included 160,000 children over 50 years. Elizabeth states spanking was what most people would classify as spanking, not abusive behavior. However, spanking and abuse were associated with the same detrimental child outcomes, just in lesser degree. It also showed that the more children were spanked, the more likely they were to exhibit abusive behaviors. 
 
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner
 

Western vs. Eastern approaches to medicine have been debated. Instead of this either/or mentality, many people facing infertility are taking a both/and approach. They are combining the best of both worlds by adding mind/body methods to their treatment plan. According to Christo Zouves, MD and Suzanne Duffy in “The Mind/Body Connection: Its Role in Fertility and IVF,” mind and body medicine combines modern scientific medicine with psychology, nutrition, exercise, and stress management. Research has shown that women experiencing infertility have higher levels of physical and psychological symptoms, which could include but are not limited to: insomnia, headaches, back pain, fatigue, anxiety, and depression. These symptoms may affect the ability to implant successfully through abnormalities detectable in the immune system. Mind and body techniques are aimed at helping to reduce stress and promote positive attitudes.

To read the full article, click here.

 
For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.
 


!

Happy New Year 2019

The beginning of a new year allows for possibilities. What are your hopes, dreams, plans, and goals for 2019? Did you make any new years resolutions for 2019? What is your plan to be successful? To help increase your success rate, experts suggest you set realistic goals that have short-term intermediate goals that allow you to measure your success. I am a fan of the experts’ recommendation of rewarding yourself for progress. That will set you up for success to keep the momentum goings so you will reach your goals this year.

If you need assistance setting or maintaining realistic goals, or assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    
 




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
Can it really be a new year already?  2019 is here! Many people make resolutions only to keep them a week or two. This could be because they are unrealistic goals. It is better to set goals that are easily attainable, with time limits. For example, it is much easier to think about losing 1/2 pound a week than 25 pounds this year. It also is not realistic to decide to lose 100 pounds in six months. When goals are not attainable, then it sets us up to fail. That tends to make us not want to set any goals for ourselves at all. Another thing, remember they are goals, and not set in stone. Goals can be changed if you see you have not been realistic. Good luck and happy New Year!
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. In the near future, I will also be seeing clients in ConnectEdPAIRS' new Beardstown satellite office, also on a flexible schedule.

 Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 

IMG_9067.JPG

 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
]]>
 


 
 
 


Couples Corner
 

Did you make a new years resolution to improve your relationship? If so, how will you know if you need a professional counselor to help you achieve that goal? The average couple waits six years to seek professional counseling, and sometimes that is too late. The folks at HealthyPlace.com suggest these issues are a counseling must:

One of you is very insecure, clingy, or jealous

You’re both moody with each other most of the time

One or both of you can’t discuss feelings with the other

Discussions always turn into rows

One or the other of you is unhappy much of the time

You’ve stopped having sex

If any of these, or other issues, apply to you and you’re wondering if you can afford marriage counseling, I am a firm believer in that sometimes we can’t afford NOT to do something. In an article, Willard F. Hartley, Jr., author of 5 Steps to Romantic Love provides this perspective on marriage counseling:

“To help put the cost of marriage counseling in perspective, there’s nothing you can buy for $10,000 that will give you the same quality of life that a healthy marriage provides. If you and your spouse love each other and meet each other’s important emotional needs, you’ll be able to do without many other things and still be happier in the end. Besides, I’ve found that people seem to earn more and save more after their marital problems are solved. The money you spend to resolve your marital problems is money well spent.”

To read the full article, click here.

 


Individual Corner
 
The beginning of a new year is a great time to take stock in who you spend time with. Am I putting more into this relationship than the other person? What do I need in a friendship? Am I appreciated? Are people in my life toxic to me?

In her article in Psychology Today, Abigail Brenner, MD says that toxic people are manipulative and use people to get what they want. She goes on to list seven other common traits of toxic people. Some of these are being judgmental and critical of you. They will also lie. The next trait is to take no responsibility for their own feelings. They will defend themselves and also project their feelings onto you. Do not expect the toxic individual to apologize for anything. Why apologize when you do nothing wrong? It is always someone else's fault. In fact, they will play the victim card to get sympathy from you or others.

Dr. Brenner lists four other traits in her article. She describes being in a friendship with a toxic person as draining, full of created drama. She also says that if you feel badly about yourself due to a relationship, it is time to examine that same relationship.


To read the full article, click here.




Family Corner
 
Spanking a child has been controversial for the past few decades, however, it was common place and encouraged in the decades before. Elizabeth Gershoff and coauthor Andrew Grayson-Kaylor wrote an article about a 50-year research project at the University of Texas on spanking. This research included 160,000 children over 50 years. Elizabeth states spanking was what most people would classify as spanking, not abusive behavior. However, spanking and abuse were associated with the same detrimental child outcomes, just in lesser degree. It also showed that the more children were spanked, the more likely they were to exhibit abusive behaviors. 
 
To read more, click here.        
 

 
Infertility Corner
 

Western vs. Eastern approaches to medicine have been debated. Instead of this either/or mentality, many people facing infertility are taking a both/and approach. They are combining the best of both worlds by adding mind/body methods to their treatment plan. According to Christo Zouves, MD and Suzanne Duffy in “The Mind/Body Connection: Its Role in Fertility and IVF,” mind and body medicine combines modern scientific medicine with psychology, nutrition, exercise, and stress management. Research has shown that women experiencing infertility have higher levels of physical and psychological symptoms, which could include but are not limited to: insomnia, headaches, back pain, fatigue, anxiety, and depression. These symptoms may affect the ability to implant successfully through abnormalities detectable in the immune system. Mind and body techniques are aimed at helping to reduce stress and promote positive attitudes.

To read the full article, click here.

 
For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.
 


!

Happy New Year 2019

The beginning of a new year allows for possibilities. What are your hopes, dreams, plans, and goals for 2019? Did you make any new years resolutions for 2019? What is your plan to be successful? To help increase your success rate, experts suggest you set realistic goals that have short-term intermediate goals that allow you to measure your success. I am a fan of the experts’ recommendation of rewarding yourself for progress. That will set you up for success to keep the momentum goings so you will reach your goals this year.

If you need assistance setting or maintaining realistic goals, or assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience, please call for an appointment today.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 Stephani Cave, MA, LCPC, NCC is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor.

Stephani works with adults utilizing individual and couples counseling. Her specialties are relationships, premarital counseling, infertility/reproductive issues, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, assertiveness, grief/loss, and decision-making. Stephani is trained on Level Two of
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is a certified facilitator and seminar director for the Prepare-Enrich program.

Stephani is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She is in Springfield Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, with office hours in Jacksonville on Thursdays. Stephani accepts Aetna, BCBS PPO, Cigna, Health Alliance PPO, HealthLink, Magellan, and TriCare insurance, in addition to self-pay clients.
    
 




Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
Can it really be a new year already?  2019 is here! Many people make resolutions only to keep them a week or two. This could be because they are unrealistic goals. It is better to set goals that are easily attainable, with time limits. For example, it is much easier to think about losing 1/2 pound a week than 25 pounds this year. It also is not realistic to decide to lose 100 pounds in six months. When goals are not attainable, then it sets us up to fail. That tends to make us not want to set any goals for ourselves at all. Another thing, remember they are goals, and not set in stone. Goals can be changed if you see you have not been realistic. Good luck and happy New Year!
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. In the near future, I will also be seeing clients in ConnectEdPAIRS' new Beardstown satellite office, also on a flexible schedule.

 Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 

IMG_9067.JPG

 
Copyright © 2019 ConnectEdPAIRS, All rights reserved.


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You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp
 
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Tue, 01 Jan 2019 16:47:47 +0000
https://mailchi.mp/1a30de3d8080/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-708201 https://mailchi.mp/1a30de3d8080/your-connectedpairs-monthly-newsletter-is-here-708201
 


 
 
 


Couples Corner
 
We all would like to be in a happy, healthy relationship. What if five simple things could help achieve this? According to Ryan David, from the Mbg Relationship site, "It's not what we do every once in awhile that defines our lives." He states there are five simple things we can do on a daily basis. They are as follows:
1. Kiss for at least 30 seconds. This has to be a passionate and genuine kiss.
2. Communicate even when in the middle of a stressful situation. 
3. Connect to get in tune with what the other is going through. Be present.
4. Compliment your partner. It boosts self-esteem.
5. Laugh. Laughter releases feel-good hormones.  

 
To read more, click here
 


Individual Corner
 
Most of us love the holidays, but they can also produce stress. There are gifts to choose and buy and then to wrap. There is the decorating of the house and of the tree. In addition to the cooking and baking goodies. We often have little time to do all these things. Marie Baratta, a PhD and LCSW wrote an article entitled "Self-Care 101" for Psychology Today. In this article, she lists ten ways to exercise self-care and she states self-care goes a long way in managing stress.
Three ways on her list are:
1. Know who you are and your limits. Know what is too much for you.
2. Getting the sleep you need and knowing how to rest. Know how much sleep you need.
3. Making sure that you are well fed. Eat healthy and eat enough to provide the energy you need to function.
She lists 7 more ways to self-care, or self-nurture. If you follow these tips, you might find yourself less stressed and not ill as often, especially in this busy time of year.
 
To read more, click here.




Family Corner
 
Spending the holidays with family is not a warm, happy feeling for some people. Some families have a lot of drama and according to Linda Esposito, an LCSW and writer for Psychology Today, when confronted with family drama, some people tend to revert back to childhood dynamics. In her article, "Holiday Stress: Dealing with Family Drama and Dysfunction," she reminds that as a child, you did not have control over life events, but now you do. She discusses the choices you have - to not do anything differently, to try and change someone else, or to change yourself.
She gives tips to help in this family drama:
1. Plan ahead; make a mental list of three events that are likely to occur. For example, the uncle who always gets drunk and loud or the family member who complains continuously.
2. Know your triggers, i.e.: people, noise, alcohol.
3. Identify your triggers that increase your anger. 

She lists other helpful tips to help you deal with the family get-together.

 
To read more, click here.           
 

 
Infertility Corner

Infertility has long been a topic not often discussed privately or in the media. That is changing. Michelle Obama talks about infertiity in her new book and the popular NBC show "This Is Us" has an infertility storyline.
Tamara Jenkins has written and directed a movie for Netflix specifically about infertility.
Private Life (2018) stars Kathryn Hahn and Paul Giamatti as a couple in their 40's trying to conceive. I linked the title to the IMDb page so you can read a bit for yourself to decide if it may or may not be helpful for you to watch the movie while going through your own family-building journey. While most any film will have creative license and thus contain inaccuracies, the film does capture the emotions of infertility and the stress infertility can place on relationships. 

To read more and watch the official trailer, click
here.

For assistance with your family building journey, call Stephani for an appointment at 217-972-4851. 

Are you having difficulty getting pregnant? Are you wondering if you might be experiencing infertility? This is the ConnectEdPAIRS corner for infertility. Check here monthly for infertility education and support. Stephani Cave, LCPC specializes in infertility counseling and holds Professional Memberships in the Mental Health Professionals Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM ) and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Both of these organizations' websites are sources of education and support as well.
 



Merry Christmas!

I hope you are enjoying this holiday season. Let's all remember the reason for the season so we can find meaning in this magical time of year and not just hustle, bustle, and stress.

To piggy-back on the Family Corner article, if family drama is a part of your life, you may benefit from subscribing to Dr. Alan Godwin's
"The Drama Review" newsletter. Dr. Godwin wrote the book How to Solve Your People Problems and offers tips on dealing with difficult relationships.


As always, you can call for assistance in applying any of the information from the newsletter to your personal experience.

All best,
Stephani Cave, LCPC
217-972-4851

Prior editions of the ConnectEdPAIRS newsletter are now available on the Newsletter Archives tab on our website. Check it out
here.

 



Donna Givens, RN, LCPC
 
Donna's Corner
 
Well, it's that time of year again. As the song says, the most wonderful time of the year. For some it is a time of loneliness. It is a very difficult time of year to be alone or grieving. Please remember to reach out to others who have no one at this time of year. Drop by to visit for a few minutes, take them a small gift - it may be the only one they will receive. Take them goodies, send a card. Just let them know they are not alone.
If you are alone, volunteer at a local shelter or food line. It really does help to help others.
Take care of yourself.
 
Hello everyone! I am so happy to be joining ConnectEdPAIRS! I look forward to working with you. My hours in Springfield are Thursday from 2:30 pm to 8:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Other appointments can be arranged if needed. I currently work in Jacksonville on a flexible schedule Monday-Wednesday. In the near future, I will also be seeing clients in ConnectEdPAIRS' new Beardstown satellite office, also on a flexible schedule.

 Donna Givens is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field for over 35 years. She started as a Registered Nurse on an inpatient psychiatric unit and did that for almost fifteen years. She worked in the substance abuse field for five years. She also worked in community mental health for close to fifteen years. She was a group facilitator in a partial hospitalization program as well.

Donna works with children, adolescents, and adults. She works with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Her specialties are behavior problems, mood disorders, grief, and changing behaviors. Donna also provides non-DUI-related substance abuse counseling.

Donna is accepting new clients at both the Springfield and Jacksonville locations. She accepts BCBS and Cigna insurance, and self-pay clients.
      
 

 
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